A dead soldier: on the nature of haunting

I have decided to declare Gossamer Yellow a dead soldier and publish it here at A Moving Line.

It hasn’t been everywhere but it has been read enough — and returned — to suggest to me that I either need to pull it or do a major rewrite. I’m pleased with it just the way it is and so I’m going to let it be.

The six or so editors who read it all said pretty much the same thing — it’s well-written but it starts too slow. One even went so far as to say, “absolutely nothing happens until the piece is half over.”

It’s difficult to be objective about your babies, but when that many people say the same thing, it’s probably true. And I have to consider that the same thing may be the case with Orbital Decay.

They are both reflective pieces that examine the nature of a shared life occurence.

In Orbital Decay, Frank is forced to face an insurmountable shortcoming, something that anyone with dreams and ambitions may face at some point in their life.

In Gossamer Yellow, Chelsea sees a ghost, a claim that many people have made, and she cannot convince others that her experience is real.   The story suggests that ghosts may not always be dead, at least not in the physical sense.

So I’m offering it to you to read. If you do, let me know what you think.

3 thoughts on “A dead soldier: on the nature of haunting

  1. Alan:

    Word Press has a lot of automatic features, but that doesn’t seem to be one of them. 😉

    Thank you for the kind words. I’m pleased you like Gossamer Yellow. Your comments about cutting back the opening hit home; others have said the same thing since reading the story. It would appear I added too much back story too soon.

    BTW, I enjoyed A Chance Encounter, with its nicely drawn characters and unexpected ending.

    It appears to me that our two stories have more than an old house in common. Both Connor and Chelsea seem to have a penchant for taking an inappropriate turn after a chance encounter.

  2. Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it.

    The drawback with the Static Movement site is that you can’t leave comments for the writer. I may only use it for pieces over the 1000 word limit that a lot of sites have. I have become a big fan of EDF the past few months as it seems more interactive between writer and reader. Instant feedback for the writer over the course of the day.

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